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Everyone
at GrantzPlace likes a Good Clean Joke.
This Page was created for Your
Enjoyment. Please feel FREE to entertain
others with the things you find here or
contribute a Favourite Joke to make other
visitors :) SMILE.
Welcome
to GRANTz NEW-JOKEs Page
-Changed
on 1 MAY 2010-
I Have Made BIG Changes & moved the
Games to their own page. Please Try Out
the NEW Dropdown Menu BELOW. You will be
able to access Other Great Joke Sites with
EASE. We are still keen to POST-YOUR
Favourite jokes so Email
Them ME!
- I hope these Laughs HIT The SPOT 4U-
GRANTinOZ
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Scroll
Down to Find.
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Great
Jokes and Riddles from other visitors to
GrantzPlace.
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Readers
Jokes & Riddles -
If
YOU have a good One-Liner that always gets
a laugh. Send
it to me! and If it is funny I will add it
next month!
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This
Months best Best
One Liners
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A
banker is someone who lends you an
umbrella when the sun is shining, and who
asks for it back when it start to rain.
!
- A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as
fast when you are after it as when you are
in it..
-A celebrity is someone who works hard all
his life to become known and then wears
dark glasses to avoid being recognised..
-
A candle loses nothing by lighting another
candle. -
My computer beat me at Chess once.
But,
I BEAT it at kick
boxing.
GB
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They
Poled a 1000 women in the United
states
- and asked "Would you sleep with Tiger
Woods?" -
74%
of them replied "Not
Again!"
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 ---COP
JOKES---Boys in Blue
A
police recruit was asked during the exam,
'What
would you do if you had to arrest your own
mother?'
He answered, 'Call
for backup!'..
."I'm afraid that I'm going to have to
lock you up for the night."
Man:
"What's the charge
officer?"
"Oh,
there's no charge. It's all part of the
service...
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---FARM
JOKES---Blokes in
Brown---
A Cop pulls a Farmer up for driving his
Tractor on the Highway. After ranting or
raving for a while starts to write him a
ticket. Noticing Flys are buzzing around
the trooper the
plow jockey comments "Those -Circle Flies-
Sure seem to be bothering
you!"
The
Policeman looks puzzled ...says "Yeah
...But What are Circle
Flies?"."Circle
Flys buzz around the backend of an
Animal"
The officer stops writing and says
"Are
YOU Calling Me a Horses
@*$e!!!"
Farmer replies "No
Sir I have far too much respect for the
law to do that!"...but
after getting the ticket
says
"But You Sure Can't Fool those
Flies!"
-LOL
TY- Miriah62 :)
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The
Blonde says "I don't like football. its so
dumb."
why
do you say that?
and she replies... "Well
its all about 2 men that flips a quarter
to see who goes
first."
& for the rest of the game everyone
yells. "Get
the Quarter BACK! get the Quarter
BACK!"
-LOL
TY TrustAgain :)
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Q:
How many Dylan
fans does it take to screw in a light
bulb? ? A:The
answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind.
The answer is blowin' in the wind.
Q:How
many Magicians
does it take to change a light bulb?
A:It
depends on what you want it changed in
to...
Q:How
many 'Real
Men'
does it take to change a light bulb?
A:None:
'Real Men' aren't afraid of the
dark
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---IRISH
Jokes---Guys in
Green
- How many Irishmen
does it take to change a light bulb
A:Five,
one to hold the light bulb and the other
four to turn the ladder round and round
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Have
you decided what to buy your missus for
Christmas?' asked
McPhee.
'Sure,
she decided it for me,' answered
Kelly.
'She said she wanted something with
diamonds in it.
So I've bought her a pack of
cards!
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1-What
do you Get it you pour Boiling Water Down
a Rabbit Warren?
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--JOKES-
& -RIDDLES-- from visitors to
GrantzPlace!
What's the difference between your Mother
in Law &
Bigfoot? One
is huge, hairy and smelly, with foul
breath and a hateful
disposition.
The
other one has big feet
-
Thanks
GAVIN
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2-What
Did Beethoven do when he
died?
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Two
FISH in a TANK and one says to the
other-"How do you DRIVE this Thing!"
...Thanks
CALEB
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3-What
do you get if you drop a Piano Down a
Welsh MINE?
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There
are a Bunch of Baked Beans Travelling
around Australia
"At the Moment they are in
CAIRNS"
.....Gracies
JOKE
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4-What
do you get when you drop a Tank on an Army
base?
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What's
the Difference Between a Honda & a
Hoover? The
Location of the "DirtBag"-
Thank
You -Ps Oullette
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5-
Why Do African Elephants have
BigEars?
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How
Do You get Down off an Elephant? -You
Don't get 'Down' off an Elephant. You get
down off a Duck.
Thanks
Chuckle
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"Did
you hear about the dyslexic agnostic
insomniac? He
stayed up all night wondering
if
there really is a Dog?"
"I
wonder if other dogs think poodles are
members of a weird religious
cult."
"Some
days you're the dog; some days you're the
hydrant."
7-
What do you get if you CROSS a Cocker
Spaniel, a Poodle and a Rooster
?
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Send
ME your Riddle?
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8-What
is the difference between an
Englist
MAN
and a
Jumbo JET?
9. What's The Difference Between
Roast
Beef
And Pea
Soup?
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6-
How Did they Bury the CrossWord
King?
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Select
all the Text in this box with your cursor
to reveal the answers to my riddles.
1.
Hot Cross Bunnies. 2.
DeCompossed.
3.
A-Flat
Miner.
4.
A-Flat
Major.
5.
Cause Noddy wouldn't Pay the Ransome-
6.
Six Down & Three Across
7.CockerPoodleDoo
!
8.
Whan a Jumbo lands it Stops Whining!
9.Anyone
Can Roast Beef
...............
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Try Out These GAMES and SEE Which Ones
Work your YOU!
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Great
-One-Liners
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Some
People are Like
Slinkies
- Not Really Good for Anything BUT
-
They
Bring a Smile to Your Face when you Push
'em down the Stairs-
Why
is the third hand on the watch called a
second hand?
- Can fat people go
skinny-dipping?
- Why is the time of day with the slowest
traffic called rush hour?
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Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns
because they taste funny?
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If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest,
will it make a
sound?
-If
the cops arrest a mime, do they tell him
he has the right to remain
silent?
-From
Bit Of FUN.com
Wife
who put husband in doghouse soon find him
in cathouse!
- War doesn't determine who is right, war
determines who is left.
- A bird does not sing because it has an
answer. It sings because it has a song.
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He who asks is a fool for five minutes,
but he who does not ask remains a fool
forever. -
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Good
Clean Funny Lists
